Archive for Cancer

Sunset postponed…

Posted in Uncategorized with tags on December 31, 2012 by suzisays09

  Maybe, dreams can come true… Sunset can be postponed.  It is terrible enough that I don’t see my grandson in person, but at least I am seeing pictures now.  I know whose eyes he has.  I hope he got the Osborne intelligence,  he looks so much like his dad.

  But, today I looked at his picture, and saw the face that I have waited a lifetime to see.  A ray of hope has entered my heart.  There the baby face of the young man, who pushed my chair in the dream I had so long ago.  Perhaps, I get to survive


Better to let sleeping dogs sleep

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on December 26, 2012 by suzisays09

  Sleeping dogs  old memories, best to let them rest.  Finding out that your memories, are more golden in the past.  Oh well I am glad it happened I won’t waste any of the time i have left, on folks that don’t remember me or it is obvious that i am not important to them..  It is very telling when you know when a message was seen. Oh well, my heart is pretty much used to reality. It is qone thing when someone you knew doesn’t recall you, that is an oh well. When your kin don’t respond to a message that important. Won’t be initiating any more contact. I don’t see the purpose of pursuing those that don’t hold me close in their heart. I have a few people who truly care for and love me. I realize that the number can be counted on a hand maybe a toe or two. Maybe I will get well, perhaps I won’t. But one thing I do know is that it is up to me, whether I have a year or many more. Time won’t be wasted on things and people that don’t matter

Denial and truth hmm

Posted in cancer with tags on October 31, 2012 by suzisays09

You could hear the but coming up. It was coming whether I wanted it to or not. There was chaos on my end dogs barking TV blaring but the words found there way through a mass in the salivary gland. Instructions on what to do next. And a wish for a pleasant weekend.

  And I wished her a lovely weekend as well.  So until I know. The nature of it I will hope that it and the other are harmless and just need to be gone.  Poor Tracy the two of us both needing surgery at opposite ends no less.  I wonder about my rest since both sides are going to be worked on my left shoulder and the right side of my neck/face.  On top of that Charles having spinal surgery.  It might be the year we never forget.
Might be hell, it will be.

My biopsy is next week, and even though it doesn’t look good, I am still hoping for a benign result. Either way my face gets cut open. Shame as long as they are there they can erase a few wrinkles oh well, guess I should be happy with losing the lump… I am very happy with my ent doc for the first time in a long time I feel confident in her guidance. I’ve got a grandson, whom I want to see full grown. It is going to take me changing. And that isn’t something that I excel at. Oh well I better if I want to survive